tales of an extreme fisherwoman.

when you live on a fishing boat, life is all about fishing. it is extremely focused. pull away from the dock and all of a sudden, nothing matters but to effectively work together to catch the most amount of fish. strategies are created, sacrifices are made, hard work is given, and faith is put in the sea to produce an abundant harvest. the outside world doesn't matter to us. we are in our element and we cannot be distracted from it.

as fishermen, we not only work together, but we experience life together; the flat calms and the 12 foot swells, the ups and the downs of the season. we think about fishing, talk about fishing, share fishing stories, and forcast upcoming fishing trips. not only that, but we encourage one another, laugh with one another, and look out for one another. our crew is our family.

we live an extreme, but exhilarating life. we we don't shower for days on end and we grow our hair to be very long. we eat meat and rice like it's our job. we are up to see the sun rise and set, and we play completely chill music all the time. we drink delicious hot coffee every morning and spicy good earth tea in the evening on the trip back to town. we watch the same good movies in our spare time, only to incessantly quote them later. we watch billions of stars at night. we enjoy the simplicity of life.

mostly importantly, we can hang out with God all day long. there is no noise. not sound--there is plenty of that from the engine. i mean the noise of commitments, meetings, classes, traffic, distractions, and even more stuff to do. in the quietness God ministers directly to our hearts regularly. there is a peacefulness and focus to life that allows us to just be with God all the time. and it is glorious.

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i have decided that life should be more like fishing. it should have all of the same elements, preferably with greater hygiene. it should be all about the experience of life. it should have the same focus and hard work, but ultimately, it should be about enjoying the scenery. i am convinced that God created us first and foremost to simply be with Him, enjoying Him and all of the small things in life that He has given us for our enjoyment of His creation. not that everyday is going to be all flowers and sunsets, but it's something important to remember often. if this is our only life, why spend everyday being worried and stressed out, hoping that tomorrow will be better?

i want to be a person who enjoys God and enjoys life. i have discovered that i do a great job of convincing myself that i am ok, that i am fine, that things are for the most part good. but when i really get real with myself, i see that i miss out on all of the little things, letting stress consume my thoughts. i am constantly mentally exhausted. i am making it a personal initiative to be more intentional about taking the time necessary to enjoy God and enjoy life every day. i want to be the woman God created me to be--the daughter that He created to love and enjoy himself.

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i made a list of some of my favorite things about fishing that i am going to make a more regular part of my life. these are things that i love but i don't ususally take the time to do them. here are a few: waking up early and enjoying a quiet morning, watching sunsets whenever possible, looking at the stars on clear nights, writing/journaling every day as often as possible, being silly and goofy and laughing frequently, being extreme and different, taking walks in the rain, taking more pictures of God's creation, pausing to watch life take place around me, wearing ridiculously big sunglasses, not buying stuff i don't need, living with simplicity and focus, visiting my family often, exploring more artistic expression, playing cards on rainy afternoons, going to bed early, going on late-night adventures, dancing in the kitchen, exploring new places, uncharted waters, taking boat rides as often as possible, not doing everything, doing what i'm called to do with all my heart, listening to God everyday, allowing God to speak to me every day.

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on the boat ths summer, i learned something about being myself and not caring about what people think of me. it's hard to care about what someone thinks of you when they see you first thing in the morning, four days without a shower, fish scales stuck on your face, wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that... i was challenged to be completely myself, with nothing to hide behind nice clothes or makeup or clean hair. it was incredibly freeing. it was like we were all just real with one another. no facades or impressive appearances, just our unique personalities and sense of humor to enjoy.

i have decided to stop letting what others think of me determine what i will and will not do. no more doing things to please people, bending myself more in one direction so someone might think i'm cool or something. i am going to be myelf. i am going to be quirky. i am going to be silly and sometimes a little aloof. my mind will wander frequently. i am going to sing at the top of my lungs and i am going to dance around to the music in my bedroom. i am going to have more awkward moments than i will be able to count. i am going to be spontaneous as often as is appropriate. i am going to make bad jokes and laugh at them. i am going to live in the thick of life and love every moment.

this is who i am.