first stop: athens and the greek isles.
keep up with me here: http://www.mediterraneanholiday.blogspot.com
αντίο/ciao/au revoir/adios/adeus!
10.09.2007
mediterranean holiday.
i'm off to europe for six weeks!
first stop: athens and the greek isles.
keep up with me here: http://www.mediterraneanholiday.blogspot.com
αντίο/ciao/au revoir/adios/adeus!
first stop: athens and the greek isles.
keep up with me here: http://www.mediterraneanholiday.blogspot.com
αντίο/ciao/au revoir/adios/adeus!
10.06.2007
a fighting spirit.
true to my artist's soul, i experience the world through honest, raw emotion. but for most of my life i haven't known what to do with it. i used to see my consistently intense emotional state as an unpreventable downfall in my pursuit of a happy and balanced life.
i never understood how to accept my emotions. i interpreted my own sensitivity as an obvious weakness. the downward spiral of anger and frustration were daily realities. fear and misunderstanding of who i am bound me up in suffocating self-imprisonment.
i knew that this was not who i was made to be. i caught glimpses of an inner light, an inner strength, a beautiful life that seemed so impossibly distant. for some reason i had been locked out of this mysterious world and trapped in my own inner turmoil with little hope for true freedom and nothing to look forward to.
it was then, over two years ago now, that i realized my need for a higher being to take control of my world and pick up the shattered pieces of my life that felt so illegitimate and deficient. it was then that God rescued me from my own personal hell and allowed me to experience his grace and grow in love.
but even then, my emotions continued to get the best of me. i didn't understand why i struggled like i did. that mysterious and beautiful life was now right in front of me, but try as i might i couldn't grab hold of it. i felt separated from it by an infinite brick wall and i lacked the necessary equipment to break through it. but God was slowly working on me.
after two full years of being absolutely broken and laying at God's feet, i finally feel free to run the race. walls are crumbling one after another. the anger i once fled has been turned around to be a catalyst of action and change in my life, just an example of God taking what was once a weakness and turning it around to be used as a strength, and all for his glory.
i am finding myself in a new season of strength and confidence in the Lord. i feel as though i have been given a fighting spirit--a spirit that fights for God and for who He has created me to be, and a spirit that fights for others to realize their own purpose in Him. this spirit is not one of timidity or passivity, but one of boldness and action. it is a passionate spirit that doesn't settle for anything less than God's best.
i am beginning to understand that the purpose in my emotionally-charged perspective comes in the deep care that God has put in my heart for people as well as the ability He has given me to feel for them and walk along side of them in their pain and fear. in learning to embrace those penetrating emotions and allowing myself to feel their weight, i find that i grow in reliance on God as he grants me stability and grace, and finally i see how the balance is possible.
i never understood how to accept my emotions. i interpreted my own sensitivity as an obvious weakness. the downward spiral of anger and frustration were daily realities. fear and misunderstanding of who i am bound me up in suffocating self-imprisonment.
i knew that this was not who i was made to be. i caught glimpses of an inner light, an inner strength, a beautiful life that seemed so impossibly distant. for some reason i had been locked out of this mysterious world and trapped in my own inner turmoil with little hope for true freedom and nothing to look forward to.
it was then, over two years ago now, that i realized my need for a higher being to take control of my world and pick up the shattered pieces of my life that felt so illegitimate and deficient. it was then that God rescued me from my own personal hell and allowed me to experience his grace and grow in love.
but even then, my emotions continued to get the best of me. i didn't understand why i struggled like i did. that mysterious and beautiful life was now right in front of me, but try as i might i couldn't grab hold of it. i felt separated from it by an infinite brick wall and i lacked the necessary equipment to break through it. but God was slowly working on me.
after two full years of being absolutely broken and laying at God's feet, i finally feel free to run the race. walls are crumbling one after another. the anger i once fled has been turned around to be a catalyst of action and change in my life, just an example of God taking what was once a weakness and turning it around to be used as a strength, and all for his glory.
i am finding myself in a new season of strength and confidence in the Lord. i feel as though i have been given a fighting spirit--a spirit that fights for God and for who He has created me to be, and a spirit that fights for others to realize their own purpose in Him. this spirit is not one of timidity or passivity, but one of boldness and action. it is a passionate spirit that doesn't settle for anything less than God's best.
i am beginning to understand that the purpose in my emotionally-charged perspective comes in the deep care that God has put in my heart for people as well as the ability He has given me to feel for them and walk along side of them in their pain and fear. in learning to embrace those penetrating emotions and allowing myself to feel their weight, i find that i grow in reliance on God as he grants me stability and grace, and finally i see how the balance is possible.
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