when i first saw the movie 'into the wild,' i experienced the craziest reaction i've ever had to a film. i briefly went through all the stages of the grieving process, passing through stages of numb emptiness, anger and deep sadness, and for the longest time i wasn't exactly sure why.
the story felt so real to me, as though it was speaking out of my own heart, my desires to experience true freedom and happiness, to be independent and self-sufficient, answering only to myself, not needing to rely on anyone, to be out living an adventure, uninterrupted by anyone or anything.
i know it doesn't work this way, but i can't seem to help but live in this pattern.
god forgive me for ignoring you, for trying to self-suffice. break that habit in me that compulsively tries to take care of myself and shuts out help from other people. your love is meant to be shared in with others. help me to allow myself to be a part of it.
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