i am convinced that all good revelations come in the shower. i'm not sure why it works that way. perhaps it is because for 15 minutes [yes, i take long showers] i am finally alone with my thoughts. today's revelation: i cannot pull self-discipline out of my ass. i can't just decide to *be* self-disciplined. especially if i have never had anyone close to me model it. my parents aren't self-disciplined, and my grandparents REALLY aren't self-disciplined. sooo...great! i sometimes get jealous of people who are incredibly self-disciplined. but for as crazy as my life is without much self-discipline, i think the rigidness of a life as disciplined and structured as some of those i know would drive me absolutely nutty.
i am a go-with-the-flow kind of person. kelly and i talk about this frequently. she is the same way. we "peaceful phlematics" enjoy a easy-going and peaceful lifestyle. i can't stand planning, orginization or administration. i don't often see the point. i'm about the big picture. i can set goals to get myself going, and then i will lose sight of my goals completely. and for me, that's ok, because the point is the process and the relationships that happen in between the beginning and the end. i don't really care where i end up, but i want to know that i have learned something and have grown along the way.
obviously, a working balance is required. 'balance' seems to have been the word of my life for the past year. i know that God is wanting to work in those weaknesses in my life. but figuring that out is a whole other story.
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the peace, the quiet, the stillness, the calm during the storm of my life.
A Search for What?
A search for repose is a search for God. My repose comes from being with Him, communing with Him, being still and listening to His quiet voice. I long to know the peace of sitting in his presence continually. Best of all, I find that God works through me in my repose. This blog is a journey of sorts--a place to express my random thoughts, lingering questions, small revelations--in the never-ending process of becoming.
a life that thrives
"But blessed are those who have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like a tree planted along a riverbank that sends its roots out into the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it has no worries in a year of drought. Its leaves stay green and it goes on producing delicious fruit." - Jeremiah 17:7-8
1 comment:
are you walkin' around in my brain? cause sometimes it feels like that. i'm about to take a shower myself.. maybe i'll have some revelations if i stay in there long enough ;)
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