winter break contemplations.

sooo this past quarter was intense. if you've had to interact with me at all this quarter, you would know. sorry if i seemed a little aloof. by the end of the quarter, it had become obvious that the Lord was completely stipping me some serious things that have been holding me back from running after Him.

i have been praying that God would take control of my life and my future. for the longest time, my heart didn't realize that i must give up my own self-reliance first. hm. for God to be in control of my life, i had to give up self-control almost completely. it was a little rocky for a while, but it's only getting better and better.

all quarter, i felt like i was dropping off the deep end. i felt out of control and stressed out and i felt more stagnant than ever. but then God spoke directly to my heart a few weeks ago. i felt him saying i was enough for him, that i didn't need to be more than i am to be accepted by him and to thrive in him. i felt him saying that he had allowed me to go through this difficult and nearly unbearable quarter in order to teach me something great. and the past few weeks i have felt a greater peace and understanding.

i am learning to enjoy the process of life. sometimes it sucks, but that means that i am growing and learning and i can still find joy in those times. i am finally starting to understand what that means.

on a side-note, i went SKIING yesterday!! there was fresh powder everywhere. it was SO fun. i forgot how much i love to ski. i am going to go again SOON. i love skiing. but man, i was SORE afterwards. it's the kind of sore, though, that hurts so good. =)